You Contain Multitudes (And They’re All Muppets)
Your parts are more complex and sophisticated than you give them credit for. Just ask Kermit.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an excellent model for understanding the voices in your head. Once you understand it, what do you do now? How do you wrangle this kookie cast of characters and get your head in order?
Muppets. We start there.
Before the advent of Youtube and cable channels, us Gen-X kids watched PBS or some other broadcast network. You had to actually tune in, move the antennas to get a clear pic, and change channels with tv knobs. Of course I watched all the cartoons but this budding nerd craved more. There was 3-2-1 Contact and The Bloodhound Gang. The Electric Company and Reading Rainbow got some play in my young mind. But the one that captured my precocious heart and stuck with me was The Muppet Show.
Muppets as a metaphor for parts
Muppets are archetypes, representing the chaotic, flawed, calm, lovable, worried, etc etc parts within us. There's something special about seeing a part personified - it's out of your head and animated. We can observe it with curiosity. It's weirdly validating to watch something so relatable.
Like our parts, each Muppet wants something. The character is raw expression, bopping around and asking for interaction. Parts pull a mask over your eyes. When you're inside a part, you see the world through that lens. Imagine yourself in the middle of a storm with no horizon in sight. If it's a depressed, moody part, the world appears dull and sad. If it's an anxious, fearful part, people become threats who could reject you. Observation provides distance from the part storm and shows us that this big bad part is in reality, smaller than you. It makes sense - something that is a part is not the whole. Watching the Muppets is like watching your parts. When we watch then on the screen, these Muppet parts within us, they become right sized.
Mapping your inner Muppets
Let's take a handful of these lovable little guys and see if we can apply them to your mind.
Kermit the Frog - He's a sort of overburdened leader. It's the part that seems the most like my centered self but not quite. My centered self doesn't act calm and rational, it just is calm and rational. Kermit feels the weight of all the other parts' chaos and tries to hold it together. He just wants everyone to be calm while the world burns. He is more likely a Manager. In my head, my managers are bossy, little kids dressed up in adult clothes.
Miss Piggy - Aside from how uncomfortable I felt relating to her and her body, Miss Piggy is a fine representation of parts that are fiercely independent, over-the-top, dramatic provocateurs. She's a pendulum swing, dominating and demanding respect, and sometimes sabotages her efforts being being too much. She's protecting those fragile little Exiles by swooping in and making noise. This makes her a Firefighter.
Fozzie the Bear - This guy just wants you to like him. He represents people pleasing parts that crave approval like oxygen. When you feel anxious or pick up on tension, cracking jokes lighten the mood. He feels the pull to take care of or prop up others so he won't be abandoned. He make themselves pleasing to others by not expressing needs, differing opinions, or anything with the potential to burden. These parts are always just fine. They keep you likable avoid the pain of rejection. They protect you like a Manager.
Gonzo - Welcome to your inner weirdo. Playful and unconventional, it sees the absurd in everyday life and laughs at fart jokes. Creative and exploratory, it can be a part if it goes off the rails and finger paints on your cubical wall. The spirit of it actually comes from your Centered Self. It's a wellspring of curious, fun-loving and good-natured energy. When cultivated and channeled, this weirdo helps you follow your inner thread of meaning and purpose.
Statler & Waldorf - These dudes hide out in the balcony of your mind and lob criticisms like stink bombs. They are my personally favorite way to think of my inner critic because I easily dismiss them (when I'm looking at them from my centered self). They epitomize the cranky curmudgeon who has an opinion on everything and is never satisfied. They are Managers run amok, using criticism to keep you safe from the big bad world by keeping you small and tucked away. They are noisy because they're worried you won't take them seriously. Give them a juice box; they're probably dehydrated and hangry.
Animal - This part is pure Id. It wants what it wants when it wants it. It's the part of you that just eats the pint of ice cream when you're already full from dinner (I call this my dessert stomach). It's the part of you that makes too much noise or talks too loud. For me, it's the part that thinks up new ideas and dives head first into new activities. It's the reason I allowed my partner to convince me to winter camp (we call it 'playing forts'). Given fences to mark the boundaries of time, money, and consideration of others, this part can be a lovely extension of your creative, curious and centered self. Allowed to roam free, it becomes a Firefighter, creating chaos, leaving messes in your mental and physical, and avoiding responsibility.
Beaker - Another one of favorite parts - the anxious and overwhelmed little kid in me. My inner Beaker just feels without any sort of articulation. Even when a wave hits him, he just picks himself up and keeps going. He's not quite panicked but rides that edge. He's a bit of an Exile but sometimes acts like a Firefighter. When he gets too noisy, disturbing my inner peace, I know it's time for a caretaking side of my centered self to step in and rock him like a baby.
The Swedish Chef - This is the part that fakes it till it makes it. He just keeps going even as he makes mistakes and hopes no one notices. Inside, he feels like an imposter, about to be found out and exposed. A Firefighter, he keeps bumbling to get you through. This is me anytime I give a public talk.
You are ALL the Muppets
If you're honest, you see yourself in all these parts. It's the genius behind the show. Jim Henson must have pulled from his inner parts and encouraged others to do the same. It's what makes it so relatable. We see ourselves in these archetypes. At different times in different settings, you've lived out a Fozzie or a Miss Piggy part. When we're younger, some of the more insecure parts take center stage. As we age, we learn to work with the parts. I give Animal the time and space to play until it's time to tidy things up. When Beaker pipes up with some worry, I listen and soothe him.
All of these parts inside you are important and on your side. We've talked about this before - even though they diverge off, get mean or anxious, they're ultimately doing their best to protect you. See their intent and you see what they need. Meet their need and you confidently keep things under control.
Don't let one Muppet run the show
Next time you find yourself feeling intensely about sometime, consider that you might be in the middle of a part storm. You'll find yourself telling a story about what's happening. Ask yourself about the story. I use this deductive reasoning to figure out what my head is doing. It usually happens when I am feeling something but not sure why. My most common cue is the feeling of despair.
When I first wake up and my brain is still coming online, she sees her in. I'll think about writing or some tasks I've got to do that day and the malaise sets in. It's been happening the last few mornings so it's fresh in my mind. I ask myself- What do I need? Do I need to write it out even though I don't feel like it and don't think it will work? Do I need to space out with a book or a game? Or maybe, if I just wait it out, it will go away? These ideas were cultivated by experimentation. I had to try them out to have them at the ready. There are few tools that work every single time and it forces you to find new ones. This is a good thing.
Ah Despair. She is Big Bird, holding the photo of Mr. Hopper after he dies. She's wondering where her friend has gone. She's the part of me that's eternally coming to terms with death and loss. She may never find peace but there's meaning and purpose in comforting her.
Rowlf is my favorite... 😍 I think he's my inner philosopher, and represents my ability to be my own best parent. Let's go find out if you're hungry😊
I wish I could like this a thousand times. Wonderful.