Reframing is the simple act that starts with asking yourself, Is there another way to look at this?
Without examination, it’s easy to get stuck in black and white thinking, stereotypes, and cognitive shortcuts. This goes on long enough and you’ll find yourself in some sort of personal quagmire.
Something will happen in your life and you won’t know what to do or how to change it. Alternately, you’ll be unhappy and believe there’s nothing you can do. Clinging tightly to being right ruins relationships. No matter what, it’s all about how you’re framing it.
Reframed is the antidote. I won’t tell you how to do it, I’ll show you - by reframing concepts, ideas, and demonstrating how I came to think differently. Everything is a life lesson if you choose to frame it that way.
Why subscribe?
Take this quiz and check all that apply to you:
▢ I’m the kind of person who likes to think outside the usual checkboxes. (+1)
▢ I prefer to cultivate my own informed opinions. (+1)
▢ I hope I never stop learning and growing. (+1)
▢ I value open minded discussion. (+1)
▢ I like being trusted to think on my own. (+1)
▢ I believe what I’m told to believe. (-10)
Give yourself one point for every check and add up your score. If it’s positive, then subscribe.
What you’ll get:
Novel perspective on topics to refine your own ideas.
Nuggets for party conversations.
Skills to bridge the gaps from childhood.
Amusement because I’m sometimes quite funny.
Paid Subscribers: If you’re reading this. I’m already a little bit in love with you.
Advice column - Ask me a question (ála Dear Sugars) and I’ll likely answer it in a post. No question is too weird or basic. I’ve heard it all.
Topic Suggestion - Tell me what you want to learn and I’ll reply and maybe research and write an essay on it.
REFRAMED Suicide - Reframing the story of suicide with new research, fresh perspectives, and deeper insights.
Toolbox - A collection of real life tools to level up.
Grief Overachiever - Essays, humor, and info to help you get through early grief.
Addiction Resources - Essays, book reviews, treatment finders, and other resources for you or a loved one struggling with alcohol, drugs or other compulsive behaviors.
Subscriber only discussion threads - Lurk or contribute to a community of like minded, growth oriented thinkers. Think of it as crowdsourced wisdom.
Personalized responses – Paid subscribers get priority replies to questions.
Subscriber-only posts – Deep dives, personal essays, and exclusive, content.
Bonus posts – Extra insights, case studies, or personal reflections not available to free readers.
Founding Members: You’re the loves of my life.
Mental Health Referrals - Need a therapist, psychiatrist or treatment center? Hit me up.
Private Questions - Send me a private message with a question, worry or concern and I’ll give you a thoughtful, researched reply.
Contributing Authors - Submit your original, unpublished essay. If the topic fits within REFRAMED’s scope, we’ll get it published.
About Me
Psychology nerd, deep thinker, armchair philosopher
Gen X’er
Self-taught, mediocre DIY’er
Aspiring off-grid mountain dweller
Suicide loss survivor
Cherokee Tribal Member
My superpower is the ability to empathize and understand anyone. Yes, anyone.
Fundamental Perspectives
My opinions are grounded in the inherent value and dignity of all humans. No one is a throw away person or a lost hope. That said, I don’t bleed for anyone.
There’s always another way to look at someone or something.
I never fail; I only learn. I believe everything happens for a reason because it’s better than the despair of randomness and chaos.
I can be swayed by a well-articulated and supported argument.
Some things can’t be decided and must be discovered: meaning and purpose, love, forgiveness, and peace.
I can’t stand hypocrisy, inconsistency, emotion-driven logic, false dichotomies/choices, or extremes. Balance is better.
Listening to audiobooks is still reading. If I like one book by an author, I read them all.
I aspire to write in the vein of Irvin Yalom and especially love Every Day Gets A Little Closer.
The inside of my head is the loveliest, most comfortable place. I live in harmony (mostly) with all the parts of me.
Minds I love: I admire those prone to insight, reflection, and costly signaling. If you want to impress me, offer me a well-thought out counterargument.
Experiences I love: Books (especially memoirs), documentaries, dogs, psychology, philosophy, knitting to knit, mutually respectful debate, cheerleading others, and diversity of thought.
In no particular order
I apply the lenses of psychology and patterns to issues that interest me. My clients are an endless source of inspiration and my session notes often generate essay ideas. I can’t write about cliches, fluff or crap. Even if you think a particular topic doesn’t apply to you, I bet there’s something you can get from it.
I am a voracious reader and learner. I go on deep dives until saturated and consume every interesting book and documentary on given topics. I know a bit about a lot of things and a lot about a few things. I don’t need you to agree with me but if you don’t, I won’t take you seriously unless you support your stance with evidence. Life and the people in it are a massive puzzle to figure out. Be careful when generalizing from a few pieces. Live the question; answer one, and another reveals itself.
Latest deep dives:
Kink, polyamory, and alternative relationships
Therapeutic use of psychedelics and plant medicine
How suicide happens
Memoirs: Porn, addiction, cults, police officers, writers, hikers…
Grief theories
Off-grid/homesteading
Introverts and Introversion
Camping, van life and overlanding
Social psychology and group dynamics
Trauma and coping mechanisms
The San Luis Valley in Southern Colorado and Northern New Mexico
Buddhism and Buddhist writings
AIDS crisis
Rock climbing
Internal Family Systems and part work
Dystopian future fiction
Auroville - a planned spiritual community in India
Crack in the 80’s
BDSM and professional femme doms
Cults
Generational cycles
Free will
Big data and AI
Wall Street
White Power Movement
Crime in New York, Baltimore and Chicago, serial killers, gangs
The philosophy of consciousness
Housing projects and poverty
Vietnam and Cambodia during the Khmer Rouge
Psychic mediums, near death experiences and the afterlife
Russia and the Gulag
The Holocaust
